Artistic Madness

Aaaaagh! So I tried to make a collage, and it was completely overwhelming. I made one in high school on the theme of Christmas and it looked awesome. I picked a piece of board that was too big, I picked a theme that was too abstract, and I've been at this for...I don't know, five or six hours maybe. I am saddened, and the kitchen has been overtaken. It's really too bad I couldn't have quit about two or three hours ago because based on how I feel right now, it wouldn't be too surprising if I never had the desire to make another collage. I'm going to bed.

I am overwhelmed by the topics I would like to blog about, which is why I have blogged about nothing. Maybe if I wasn't so busy reading stuff for Earth Science and Reading Diagnosis, I would have time to do that.

hurting

Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain.

- Kahlil Gibran

Thoughts on Vulnerability

I'm on the chapter called "Daughters and a Father's Roof" in So Much More. I actually haven't read it for a couple days, but I read two-and-a-half chapters today. When I get into the book, it really intrigues me. I find it interesting that, though I knew to a degree that relationships were biblically important, I have been imagining future Kalina as being very independent for a very long time. Really, I have had no practice in meaningful, dependent relationships. Sometime in the past several months, I thought about it all and confirmed that I didn't need anyone. I admitted to myself that I sort of needed my mom, but that was about it. I am beginning to see dependence as something to be desired. In my "there's no one I would die without" thinking, I was missing the point. God doesn't want us to live our lives alone and independent of others. I am wary of this vulnerability at times, but I think it is okay to be careful about whom we become dependent on and vulnerable to. I want to see the kind of relationships God made me for in my life, especially in my family.

-I get the feeling that I talk about all this to Rob too much, so I countered this by blogging about it in a blog that I think only he reads?...hmm. Well, I tried.