Days 6 & 7 Feelin' Feminine Challenge

Soo...I did wear skirts both yesterday and today, but didn't get pics of either day. And now I'm in my nightgown, so it's too late.

Day 6

I stayed home all day, and it was super warm. We actually beat a record...the hottest for this date since nineteen seventy-something. So I wore a short sleeve tee-shirt(a cute one...haha) and a brown knee-length skirt. I did dusted and cleaned the two bathrooms, played Rock Band, and read. It was a pretty uneventful day.

Day 7

I had an outfit picked out for this morning, but I ended up oversleeping. I woke up at 5 'til 10, and Rob was supposed to pick me up at 10 to go to church. Well, I had to shower and get ready. Then I realized my blouse was missing a button and had to sew one one, which took way longer than it should have(I need to get to work on these homemaking skillz). So we ended up going to the only church we knew of that started at 11. Whoops. Anyway, I ended up wearing the long brown tiered velour skirt with a brown paisley blouse. After church, we went to Bob Evans, played Khet, and went to a park I hadn't been to and talked. Thenn, we did church again, and went to the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Which let me tell you, is one sad movie. It was a pretty good movie, but there were a few unwholesome parts.

As I have said before, wearing skirts has definitely made me feel more feminine and has made me able to feel more fully like the woman of God I am called to be. This, as well as what I am learning about the importance of sharp distinctions between genders, makes me want to continue wearing skirts or dresses each day. I also want to apply the biblical principles I am learning in So Much More to my own life. I pray that the convictions that are godly and biblical will be strengthened, and I also pray that God will keep me humble. At the beginning of the week, wearing the skirts somehow seemed to make me aware of the humility I should feel before God. As the week has progressed, I have recognized the danger of falling into self-righteousness and judgmentalism. I am prone to both, and pray for forgiveness and for protection against it. What is in my heart is the most important thing to God, and I hope that serving and loving others as I am commanded will help keep me from judging them so easily. I have realized that one reason I would be likely to fall out of the habit of wearing skirts or dresses is out of convenience. Simply because I don't have a skirt clean that seems to match anything else I have clean. Therefore, I need to make sure I keep up with my laundry(and I'd like to get a couple more skirts) because having nothing to wear is a terrible reason to stop doing something that I believe strongly in. I would love to talk to young ladies who share my views on these issues, so if you are reading this and would like to have someone to discuss things with, my email address is kalinab@verizon.net. I'm sure I will post more on the topic of femininity, but that is it for my week-long challenge. :-) I did it!

Day 5

Today, I went to the insurance office with Dad. Then, I went out to lunch with Rob and a couple he knows from college. We went to Penney's with them, and then Rob brought me home. Since then, I've been talking and reading my book. I feel like I'm learning so much about what the Bible says about my role as a woman and the way I'm supposed to relate to men. This morning, I quickly pulled on a pair of pants for a few moments until my skirt was done in the dryer. After wearing skirts and thinking about how feminine they make me appear, I didn't like how it felt. I'm rather tired, so I think I may go to bed now.

Merry Christmas! (Day 4 Feelin' Feminine Challenge)

Day 4

I had a great Christmas! I got to see my family, exchange gifts with my b/f Rob, play Rock Band with my younger brother Arliss, and start reading the book So Much More, which I'm very excited about. Christmas is just always so much fun. I love how it's a day set aside to do nothing but play and enjoy. And everyone's in a super loving mood...it's very nice. I saw Rob's niece and nephew for the second time last night. The last time I saw them was Thanksgiving. Apparently his twelve-year-old niece was interested by the fact that both times she has seen me, I was dressed pretty. This was actually only because they were both holidays, but I thought this was interesting to note, given the current challenge. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas.

Day 3 Feelin' Feminine Challenge

Day 3

So it's Christmas eve. :-) I stayed up really late last night, then slept late today. At 4, I went with my family to my grandma's house, then to church with my mom, Arliss, and Rob. It was a candlelight service and I didn't even get wax on my clothes this year. After that, Rob and I went to his parents' house and he brought me home, where I am now. It wasn't a very eventful day, really. We're going to light the Christ candle on our advent wreath soon. Today, I wore my red top that goes with the black and red black plaid skirt. Over it, I wore my black wool coat with a cream scarf and Rob said I looked very lady-like. haha

Day 2 Feelin' Feminine Challenge

Day 2

So last night I picked out a khaki skirt to wear with my new top and I wore that today. The skirt didn't hinder my job in any way, but I did splash some dirty mop bucket water on it. There are two aspects to how dressing in a more feminine way makes me feel. There's the "I'm a lady" aspect and the "I'm a beautiful woman" aspect. As for the first, I feel like more a lady, so I find it more natural to act like one. This helped me to stand strong in two different areas just today, that I probably otherwise would not have. Secondly, there is a sort of comfort and grace to feeling like I belong in the role God has given me as a woman, and feeling like his beloved daughter. (I'm not saying, of course, that the spiritual aspects of how I feel have to go hand in hand with dress. I can certainly wear pants and feel loved by God.) Tomorrow is Christmas eve!!

Feelin' Feminine Week-long Challenge

Day 1

I got up early since I needed to go to the police station to get my accident report from Friday. Yesterday I was thinking about starting the challenge, so this morning I tried to figure out what I could pull together to wear to the daycare where I work. I put on a long denim skirt and brown top, simply putting a barrette in my hair. I wore my regular white parka, and wrapped my scarf around a couple times. I felt all bundled up and...feminine. Having a skirt on makes me feel feminine and special, and seems to perhaps make it easier to remember that I belong to God, and that I am treasured. Being aware of gender differences in dress makes me think more about what gender differences might mean for other areas of life. I don't mean the stuff everyone talks about, like how girls talk about their feelings and guys don't, but things having to do with biblical roles.
After work, I went shopping(looking for more skirts), but ended up with a blouse and a pretty blue sort-of poncho. I was going to buy another top made for layering over an undershirt, but I wasn't completely comfortable with it because it was cut down low in a triangular shape and could draw attention to the breast area. Some people I know would think that was silly, but when I start thinking about modesty, my conscience bothers me about certain things like that.
I want to start wearing skirts in a way, because I actually used to. When I was in high school, I got all into Ladies Against Feminism and read about dressing femininely, and began wearing mostly skirts. But I fell out of it, and I'm uncertain of my convictions now. I can see the reasons for doing it, but I've come to accept that God doesn't necessarily care too much whether I wear pants of not. I don't want to just start doing it out of some sudden impulse, but I figure in the end, I'll probably keep wearing them after the week is up.

my lips are sealed

On here, I rant and rave and don't care what anyone might think...it is, after all, the way I see it. But sometimes someone important to you asks how you see something. And you tell them, but it doesn't make any difference. The most practical thing I can think of to do next is stop telling.

What's Going On...is Yoyo lipgloss

There are lots of exciting things going on!

• Jesus is working in me and it's awesome!
  
• I'm almost on -Yoyo lip gloss- Christmas break.
• I'm starting a group for Christian girls in a couple weeks. :-D
• Uhh...I hang out with Rob a lot. That's good.
• It's almost Christmas, which means -Yoyo lip gloss- I get to give everyone their Christmas presents.
• I got this cool Bible study book on Joshua called Live Fearlessly. It's very visually appealing. Pretty color. haha Joshua did lots of cool things most people don't know about. God asked him to take over after Moses died, and he had lots of experience cause he had been right there beside Moses while God spoke to him face to face, and even on Mt. Sinai.
• I'm going to receive free things in the mail that I've been ordering, such as the amazing YOYO Lip Gloss(which you also can receive at Yoyolipgloss.com, and which I had to blog about in order to receive).

Maybe that's all that's going on, but that's a lot of excitement for my boring little life. You know what I need to do? Write a book. That should be one of my New Year's resolutions. I just want to be able to hold a book and be like, "Hey, I wrote this...bc I'm awesome." I'm sure that is a noble motivation for authoring a book. Orr...I could wait and if the group I'm starting goes well, I could make a small group curriculum book of what we did every time. Mm. I'm a little nervous about the group thing, but more excited. Planning it makes me immensely happy. I've planned things before, but most of them never actually happened, so really implementing it should be interesting. I have one final tomorrow, then a paper due Thursday, then that is all. :-)

* You have been brainwashed by super-sneaky subliminal messages throughout this post. :-X I shouldn't have told you that.
-EDIT- (11/8/09) I was just looking over my old posts and realized that I never received my Yoyo Lip Gloss! *is offended* I take back all those subliminal messages. haha

Hungry

I went to this church last night and this morning. I've been looking for something different in a church: idk, more unreserved worship and more of a sense of belonging. The church I tried is charismatic. I went Saturday night, and for 45 minutes, everyone just worshiped with songs that were much livelier and catchier than the contemporary ones the church I attend sings. I tried to get into worship, but couldn't help but be a bit distracted by my awe at the freedom the people had in worship. No one seemed to worry what everyone else thought. And this definitely seemed like somewhere I could belong. From the time I walked in, there were people introducing themselves, asking about me, and telling me about the church. They were just so friendly and so nice, and some of them were even around my own age and told me about the young adult ministry at the church. The preaching was passionate and I liked it. It contained a lot, however, about being filled with the Holy Spirit and how this meant you would be able to speak in tongues. They taught that tongues and prophecies and dreams were all gifts that we all should want and could have if we asked God. During the service, I noticed lips moving quickly and unusually and guessed that this was what was going on. At the end of the service, everyone did it together and the pastor invited those who never had to try it. He told how and said that you could come up to be prayed for if you wanted help. There was this passion and this urgency about it. I didn't do it, though one member asked me if I wanted to. I wasn't convinced that the idea that God wanted me to do this was biblical. I went back this morning, because I wanted to and because my boyfriend was curious. It was much more laid back than last night, and I only heard one man speak in tongues.

I've been reading a lot about the charismatic movement yesterday and today, but mostly about the aspect of speaking in tongues. I've read articles by pastors and relevant Bible passages. In the Bible, Paul says that everyone in a service should not speak in tongues because if an unbeliever came they would not be helped, but just think that everyone there was crazy. He doesn't forbid tongues, but says that if anyone does it out loud, it should be interpreted. And if you do it privately, you should pray to be able to interpret it. (This comes from 2 Corinthians 14.) In a way, I wanted this church to work for me, but I have this troubled, uneasy feeling about it. At first, I wondered if it was because it was all new to me, but that's not all of it. So much there seems to be based off of having an emotional experience. Going there makes me want more of God, but I go away hungry, not filled. And so I think, maybe if I do this thing that they do, it will fill me up. Maybe the reason I always stumble spiritually is because I've always been missing this thing. But it doesn't feel like a hunger for something good. You know those things you do that won't fill anything, but that you want to do because it will give you some temporary high and distract you from whatever is really wrong that might be harder to deal with? That's how the hunger seems.

It would be so much easier to stay away from this if it were more obviously terrible and unbiblical. But as it is, it seems somehow subtly unbiblical, wrong, and deceptive. I don't think I will go back again. I definately don't think that I should. I'm not saying that I don't think they are Christians, but I think they are wrong about this. For some reason, I feel more spiritually depressed and empty than I have for some time. I have felt the inability to get close to God in the fairly recent past, but not this. Lately, I have felt better in my relationship and closer. But now, I feel this pain. Perhaps I am at least headed in the right direction. If fed in the right way, this hunger could be a good thing, I suppose. Seeking and finding God in the way I want to just seems so hard. Pray for me.