The Great Matzah Hunt

  
   So Passover begins on Monday night, and I needed matzah for my (sure to be very amateurish) Seder.  I originally wanted to host it for several friends, but because of having nowhere to hold it, decided to just to follow the Haggadah with my boyfriend Rob.  So I'll be making the charoset and such, but we will possibly just be getting some sort of "fast food" to eat during the dinner break.  Doing it with just myself and him will at least provide an environment I will be most comfortable in to worship God in a way I am not used to.

   As for the matzah, I waited until today only to find that no matzah is to be found in my small town.  My search first took me to the south side Walmart.  No luck there.  Then on to Kroger, which typically carries more specialty foods than other places.  I came out with this...Wasa "Crispbread."

   If you're thinking That looks like it might have leavening, it does.  But this matzah-seeking noob didn't bother to read the ingredients after a Kroger employee assured her that other customers had bought it in place of matzah. After my mother brought the problem to my attention, I called the Walmart on north side to have an employee tell me that he he knew what I was talking about and that they did, indeed, sell matzah.  Well, after making the trip and doing a bit of hunting, I came to be pretty certain that he hadn't know what I was talking about after all.

   But on the bright side, I found these crackers that are free of any type of yeast or leavening!  For this year, they are going to be my matzah.

   Over the course of my search, it didn't really bother me that a few employees I asked about matzah and things might assume I was Jewish.  One employee, however, started seeming to imply that I was following all the Jewish dietary laws and I wondered what all she was going to say and at what point I might have to explain myself.  While I don't feel the need to tell everyone, Hey, I'm not Jewish!  I'm a Christian observing Passover!, I don't feel comfortable with the idea of not standing up for what I do truly believe when it becomes a wide-open opportunity. 

   Well, with a bunch of homework, a new book to start reading(does anyone see a potential problem here?...), and Passover preparations, I have plenty to keep me busy!  God bless!

Still Beautiful

   I just posted about not having anything to post about, and then something hit me. hehe
   As I said, I have been researching the biblical basis for head covering.  I am not going to make any sweeping statements in argument for or against it. But I will share that last Sunday, I wore a scarf.  I plan to do so tomorrow, as well.  I was just reading The Biblical Headcovering: Scarf of Hidden Power, a comprehensive online booklet covering not only the biblical arguments for, but also the history of, women covering their heads.  One part of the booklet discussed how humbling it is to a woman's vanity to wear a covering.  I can certainly attest to this, after looking in the mirror wearing a scarf, and then without the scarf, and then thinking, But I look so pretty without it!  So yes, because covering makes us look so different from the way we are used to looking and so different from everyone else, there are vanity issues to be overcome.  However, I think that if one chooses to cover, they need to realize that they do not have to consequently choose to fore-go beauty.  
    I do not think there is anything wrong with women desiring beauty.  I believe that God gave us this desire, just as he gave men the desire for our beauty.  Just look at how God describes what He will do for His bride:

"...Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became mine," says the Lord God.  Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil.  I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk.  I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck.  And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head.  Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth.  You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil.  You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty.  Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you," says the Lord God."                                 

                                                           Ezekial 16:8-14

   God used images of a woman ornamented with jewelry and fine clothes to illustrate what wonderful things He would do for His bride!  If trying to look beautiful were wrong, why would God have used an ornamented woman as such an important metaphor?  God loves beauty.  It is an immodest and vain spirit that God detests.  If one chooses to cover, I think they need to simply redefine beauty.  Perhaps we are not conforming to our society's exact version of beauty, but that does not mean we cannot be beautiful.

   I feel bad about not posting much recently, but it's partially due to the fact that I've been thinking about a lot of stuff.  You might think that thinking would equal writing, and in fact, I did start writing some posts.  The problem was that I was writing about things that I'm not 100% sure about, and I think it is important that I actually know I agree with something before I share the argument for it on my blog.  The topics I've been researching are 1) head covering and 2) whether or not Christians should keep the Torah.  The first is something I've been looking into for quite some time.  The second is something that has only recently been brought to my attention by the amount of blogs out there by Torah-keeping Christians.  If anyone has any insights or personal experience exploring these issues, I would appreciate feedback via comments. :-)
   I am on spring break now, and the break from the routine of my college classes has been nice.  Since I don't have much to say, I'll leave you with a song that I think is lyrically amazing...Hold You Up by Matthew West.

Misconceptions, Mistaken Perceptions

   In human relationships, I tend to give myself a hard time.  I got angry and overreacted yet again.  Or I needed comforted once more.   As everything is worked through and made right, I find myself unsatisfied, thinking Do they resent me seeking comfort? Are they sick of putting up with me? Seemingly, all is clear and resolution has been found- except in my own perceptions.  Though I've been told time and again that I am wonderful, beautiful, and loved, I feel like I must be viewed as one huge burden.  Like somewhere in the future could be that one proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back, when those I love decide they've just had too much, are too tired, too frustrated.

   I began thinking about my relationship with God, and realized that I don't imagine His perception of me in the same way.  Sure, He knows all about my flaws, and if I hold onto my sin and stubborness, it will affect my relationship with Him.  But at any given second I can come to Him in a spirit of repentance and be "whiter than snow." (Ps 51:7)  He looks at me and thinks I'm lovely. While people are not capable of forgetting things the way God is, God did make those who love me capable of forgiving and accepting things.  I want so badly to believe the truth they have told me, that I am loved and forgiven and well-worth the effort.  I want to believe that they could hug me with a sigh, putting whatever just happened behind us, and gladly start on from where we find ourselves at that moment.

  "...whatever is true,...think about such things."  (Phil 4:8)

A Happy Valentine's Day

   Saturday night, Rob took me to DaVinci's, a nice Italian restaurant we had never been to.  It was a wonderful evening.  Then on Sunday(actually Valentine's Day), we watched Fireproof, which we had seen last year around this time. I love that movie so much because it is a Christian film with a wonderful message about love and covenantal marriage that is also a good-quality movie.  Personally, I take comfort in the fact that love is not based on feelings, for that is much more secure than having to constantly worry about whether or not I am following my heart.  God wants us to have that security!  I wish that everyone could see this, so that there would not have to be so many broken relationships around us.

“You can’t just follow your heart. Your heart can be deceived.

  You have to lead your heart.”

I got a new sewing machine!

   I had an older one that my mom got me off of Ebay that was the same model Singer she had bought years before since she had always liked it. I had messed around on it a little in the past, but recently I decided I wanted to start sewing skirts and things. Well, the old sewing machine didn't hold up too well, as it stopped working correctly a few hours into my first project.  So I went with the well-reviewed and inexpensive Singer Simple(also recommended by Martha Steward, if you still needed a clincher...haha).

    I can't say too much about it yet, as the farthest I've gotten has been threading it and beginning to try to figure out how to use the automatic needle-threader.  I have a pattern for a simple A-line skirt I'm going to make. I started making it from a sheet for practice, but it was too small and I'm going to have to go up a size.  I've had this nice blue fabric lying around just waiting to be made into a summer skirt!

    I have to fit sewing time in-between studying time, work time, etc., but I'll be sure to post pictures when it's finished!

Goodbyes

   I just found out today that Rachel(left), one of my best friends, is moving to Colorado next week.  We get to spend Saturday together, which is good.  Still, I will miss herr. :-/  As Christopher Robin said to Winnie the Pooh,

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.  But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you."

   And, on a happier note, visits and letters are expected!