Misconceptions, Mistaken Perceptions

   In human relationships, I tend to give myself a hard time.  I got angry and overreacted yet again.  Or I needed comforted once more.   As everything is worked through and made right, I find myself unsatisfied, thinking Do they resent me seeking comfort? Are they sick of putting up with me? Seemingly, all is clear and resolution has been found- except in my own perceptions.  Though I've been told time and again that I am wonderful, beautiful, and loved, I feel like I must be viewed as one huge burden.  Like somewhere in the future could be that one proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back, when those I love decide they've just had too much, are too tired, too frustrated.

   I began thinking about my relationship with God, and realized that I don't imagine His perception of me in the same way.  Sure, He knows all about my flaws, and if I hold onto my sin and stubborness, it will affect my relationship with Him.  But at any given second I can come to Him in a spirit of repentance and be "whiter than snow." (Ps 51:7)  He looks at me and thinks I'm lovely. While people are not capable of forgetting things the way God is, God did make those who love me capable of forgiving and accepting things.  I want so badly to believe the truth they have told me, that I am loved and forgiven and well-worth the effort.  I want to believe that they could hug me with a sigh, putting whatever just happened behind us, and gladly start on from where we find ourselves at that moment.

  "...whatever is true,...think about such things."  (Phil 4:8)